i fear...he does not care..

i talk to him,

he says he loves me..

i chat with him..

he says he loves me..

why do i fear..

that he does not care..

i fear he does not care,

when i don't message him back..

i fear he does not care,

when i miss him...

i fear he does not care,

when i call him...

i fear he does not care when i love him..

it has been a small time so long,

i have known him for years,

yet i feel something has left my sense of understanding him behind,

he is still an unknown book to me..

and he says ..

"i have told you everything"...

last night i called him,

a whole day passed,

we had no talk..

i thought at the end of the day..

he would make me sit on the sack of hay..

and say..

it the dream vanished,

when he said..

" let me sleep,

you study if you wish..

or sleep as you like.."...

i just felt like nothing so bad...

but not that easy to be called "so nice.".

this is when i fear.......

this is why i fear.....

i fear when he says there are friends around,

i fear his anger that has kept him bound,

i fear the temperament of losing him..

i fear the heart that gave him wound..

after several things lost,

it is him, i found.

fear is a lesson for every human being,

to start realizing the end can approach you soon..

he gets irritated in a minute so soon..

this again,

lets me think,

"girl how much do you know him,

may be he is that strong...

there may be chances where i can go wrong..

in thinking what exactly he is..

in finding out..

the way he gives me a miss..."

strong is he,

i know him man!

still i feel.. 

he is the one,

i can spend my life with..

he is the spy..

i can easily bet,

he will find every core of me..

the lesson he teaches me,

makes me open with him..

but a trouble knocks in,

when he speaks nothing..

i fear his silence would get danger,

i fear about it is he aware?

i fear he does turn into a stranger,

i fear about this one with him,if i can share?

he is no weird,

he does so many things i like,

he listens ..

i take it as pride.

i just have few worries,

distance is roping me apart from him,

but making me close to his heart,

understanding him,

knowing him..

clears it all..

i fear the day would come in delay,

i fear by the time..

his anger does not make any gateway..

i fear what the rest of the world may spare,

but if any negative thing touches him..

i do'nt fear the thing then,

"the thing",you dare! 

he is the luckiest part of my life,

yet i wish this stranger hugs me so tight,

that i feel he cares,

i feel no fear,

i feel no worries,

i feel no anger from him,

it is all passion and his heartbeat..

intimating the heat,

me in his arms...

and singing the enrique song..

"i can heart your heartbeat"...

i fear few things.. 

fear would remain,        

till the time he is far,

the fear will remain,

till the time..

the time is unfair..

and would evade..

one day..

when he begins to care...

to that one day he told me,

"those who are close to me,

darling! i care.....".

because of her class labour - the silence kills

the silence .... is quiet.. but when it speaks.. people need courage to hear..the cry.

a pain so deep,eye get darken.

There was something going inside kamakshi, she had never dreamt of  this horrible night in her life.. this horrible time with a person,she dont even know..she had to get laid with.

"when a women is disturbed,

when she is distressed..

when she is in shock,

when she is in trauma...

her nerves are dread deep in pain,

so it is better not to touch her..."

those who do this big mistake, never achieve anything in their life. not even love..not even shame.. but words...we never like to hear.

kamakshi was thrown out of the room after the contractor could not stand in front of her. well, kamakshi was a dead body now... 

the clerk was not able to look at her.. she was miserable..

she came out naked. thanks to the almighty darkness which covered her body... no body could see anything in the dark. at least the clerk got a little sense  now and he had devastated her .

"from all the trees that watched her go,

from all the stars that saw her in dullness,

from all air that touched her skin impure,

from all the mud the sat on her toes,

they all know.. 

she was silent.. 

because of the woes.."

clerk just left her at near savitri's den.

savitri had no clue where did she go. ...

the moment kamakshi and clerk came near to savitri's hut.

in the dark...................................

"go inside before any body glares at you. dogs are not less in this town.",clerk warned kamakshi.

she looked at his face,though she had no clue of the language..a big mishap made her utter some words in silence..

clerk left her as she was. without cover.. 

she stepped into the water shed place. sat there.. ... 

quiet..

looking at the water flowing by... 

"ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh "... she screams.. and everybody gets awake.. they don't know what happened..

 savitri comes out.. she find no body outside. she doze off again. 

kamakshi is broken into pieces here. she can't respond to anything. you better understand it .. i cannot even mention what she feels like.

she gets up. takes a bath. put new clothes. quietly sleeps into her small place near savitri. 

savitri hears her whispers. she wakes up. she looks here and there is there is any mice or any other such things whispering. 

she suddenly looks at kamakshi. she remembers she was absent here a minute ago, how come she is here now? where was she? gosh! 

savitri speaks up,"kamakshi?".

she is quiet... 

"kamakshi"?? ..savitri thinks she is sleeping. she does not want to bother the little girl.

kamakshi is tender. savitri has no clue to what the small girl faced.

morning is not easy

no seasons now...no mornings..

it is not easy to get up with something as if nothing has happened.

kamakshi was trying her best to be normal. 

"uth ja ri ,kitna soyegi..?",savitri says to kamakshi.

 no reaction. 

"uth na!",savitri with all love and care calls her again. 

no reply again.

"kama!", savitri gets anxious. what would have happened?

she touches her. she is shivering. she is feverish. 

"fever! she has got fever. she is ill.",savitri cries.

"kama! kamakshi! kamakshi?, savitri is nervous now. she holds her but.

savitri removes her blanket,she finds some scratches on her body. paleness. redness. darkness. 

savitri is shocked! what could have happened with her. she stays here only. 

here the mystery begins. kamakshi will not speak unless she is out of fear. savitri will not sleep unless she treats the girl well. now this is going to take another turn.

the contractor is about to become the talk of the town. 

next segment.. keep waiting.!